My life and my thots

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Hope deferred makes the heart sick

A simple study of this verse...

Pro 13:12
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life."

John Wesley's Explanatory Notes:

Hope deferred - Delays in obtaining what a man passionately desires.
The desire - The good desired.
A tree of life - It is satisfactory, and reviving.

Matthew Henry Complete Commentary:

1. Nothing is more grievous than the disappointment of a raised expectation, though not in the thing itself by a denial, yet in the time of it by a delay: Hope deferred makes the heart sick and languishing, fretful and peevish; but hope quite dashed kills the heart, and the more high the expectation was raised the more cutting is the frustration of it.
It is therefore our wisdom not to promise ourselves any great matters from the creature, not to feed ourselves with any vain hopes from this world, lest we lay up matter for our own vexation; and what we do hope for let us prepare to be disappointed in, that, if it should prove so, it may prove the easier; and let us not be hasty.

2. Nothing is more grateful than to enjoy that, at last, which we have long wished and waited for: When the desire does come it puts men into a sort of paradise, a garden of pleasure, for it is a tree of life.
It will aggravate the eternal misery of the wicked that their hopes will be frustrated; and it will make the happiness of heaven the more welcome to the saints that it is what they have earnestly longed for as the crown of their hopes.

I know the basic meaning, but still don't totally understand this verse...
Or rather don't fully understand how it can apply to me for the better yet.

I need more revelation on this... :)

Tonight's prayer with C and K really helps though!

Alritey, time to meet Zhou Gong!

1:45am

Friday, April 27, 2007

Countries I want to go to

Yes, it is late.
1.20am now.
Trying to finishing seeing my friend's photos from his Korea trip.
He saw Cherry Blossoms there. :D

I want to go South Korea, Jeju Island and Everland.

I want to go nice beaches like Pulau Redang, Maldives.

I want to go Taiwan, Bangkok or HongKong to shop.

I want to go China, His special land.

I want to go Israel, His beloved land.

Ok, great! I finished seeing his photos liao. Nice place. =) The teddy bear musuem is a key place to visit for the trip too.

Now what? Sleep lor.

Yeah, it is Friday!!!
Haha, secretly wish that it is Saturday, so can sleep late. haha! But got meetings and work to do later lah.

Spiderman 3 is coming! =) Might not be able to catch it on Tues when it launches, cos i think the day will be too busy. So might have to watch on Wed or Thu?

Are you free on 1st May? Come join me for a friends and family day celebration at Expo. :) Got food/games and concert. Yeah, I will get to see Sun and hear her voice again! =)

It has been a fruitful day, thank you Jesus! :)

Good nite...

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Mango/Chocolate/Ice-cream?

Mango...
Durian...
Chocolate...
Marshmallow...
Ice-cream...

Can any of it satisfy me?
Not now.

I want an answer to TGI.
A pity but MPC may just be another dream. I can't think of another explanation.

There has to be a greater Purpose and Value for Miss Cool's existence!

I do not have too tough a life like the author of this song (像我這樣的) below. But her songs really minister to me... =) When I am down, you are my motivation. You are my inspiration. :)

I only want to say that 我不願退縮. Miss Cool, move on forward... towards the mountain, towards the beautiful sun rise!

像我這樣的 你會不會 來愛我
像我這樣的 不夠完美 灑脫
我為愛前進 夢想路程
卻滿是傷痕 不願退縮
Take a look at me
我不鬆開手 在失意的時候 用音符
唱著我的 美麗哀愁
Take a look at me
吶喊的心頭 彷彿再說 黑白對錯
微笑 面對我的生活
曾經有過 為夢想 失去選擇
也曾走過 不被祝福 熱戀傷痕
到現在我還是我 為愛 的執著
對我來說 簡單生活
會是我想要的 結果

12:30am

Monday, April 16, 2007

My long weekend - Meetings with Benny Hinn

It's 1am now...
Tmr got whole day session with the System Integrators from 9am to 5pm...

Let me blog on a few items on my mind. :)

MPC
Did not hear from MPC since Sat early morning.
Did not get to see MPC for 2 weeks liao.
I wonder if this is a test for my patience or what. Haha!

TGI - The Good Idea
10 days have passed since 5th April. I wonder how long a few weeks will be for hearing more abt the good idea... Is that 2 weeks, or 3 weeks or 4 weeks or what? Something in me want to hear about the updates of the situation!

His Power
Saturday's meeting with Rev Benny Hinn was very powerful. I felt that the atmosphere was electrifying. It had never been so strong before. The Holy Spirit was moving in a special way. Everyone worshipped God and prayed in the heavenly language. The unity in our hunger for God was strong. We all wanted God and more of Him.

Rev Benny prayed for us to receive the anointing for healing. He prayed for the pastors for the anointing. He prophesied that Singapore will become a healing centre, and Pastor Kong has a impt part to play for that.

Pastor Kong has been desiring for our church to be able to have the healing anointing, as God wants us to do all that He does and even greater things we shall do. Signs and wonders are to follow the preaching of God's word. I thank God for the prophecy and anointing upon Pastor Kong and our church. I thank God for Pastor Kong, this humble and hungry man of God. It is a great privilege to be under his leadership.

The Chinese
Rev Benny Hinn asked the people from China to go to the stage to be with him. Rev Benny Hinn sort of talked with them. You could see their excitement and hunger. He prayed for them. He asked them to sing "How Great Thou Art" and "Holy Spirit, Thou Art Welcome", it was great! He was touched and teared when he saw how great their hunger was, despite them being persecuted. Being a believer was not an easy kind of thing for them in China. Instead of preaching a message on salvation, he gave an altar call based on that hunger and willingness to sacrifice their lives to know Jesus. Wow! I'm amazed.

Something in my heart moved again when he talked about the Chinese people. I am borned and brought up for a time like this. All that I have done in my life seems to be all for this reason - TGI. God, please show me clearly. Direct my paths.

Healing
Rev Benny Hinn showed us from the Scriptures how Jesus healed and healed and healed and healed. Never did I noticed that He healed so much... That it was a 2 days of healings and healings. Healing is really 1 of the natures of God. God, make us Your hands to extend Your healing power to those in need. Give me boldness to be Your instrument of Your healing power.

Friends
Friends are important in life. They are your cheerleaders, supporters, companions for the race in life.

Thanks to the people who queued with me at SIS esp for Fri and Sat! I don't think I would have queued that early if not for your company. Thanks for the fellowship, food/snacks, games, plastic sheets and your willingness to pay the price for the things of God! God sees all that you do and your positive attitudes. :) And yes, we were in the queue not because we were too free and had nothing to do with our time, but becos we really wanted the heavenly treasures that Rev Benny Hinn brought with him for us.

I thank God for letting us get on the bridge to East Entrance before it rained on Sat. We queued sheltered from being drenched. There were showers of blessings when the wind blew. Cos we were very hot. Then after that, the sun came out. Hehe, to dry us from the showers. :P

Thanks to Christina who took the bus to Kallang and then took mrt with me, even though she could have waited for the West people and taken a ride home! Cos I was the only person who stays in the North. I tot she only meant walking me to the busstop, but she went to mrt with me. So blessed! =)

I feel happy when I think of you all, my friends in e105! =)

Love and hugs,
Xiao Ding Dang (the little one with a big store of blessings)
1:45am

Saturday, April 14, 2007

My 1 - 7

What should I talk about?

Whatever that comes to my mind ok? :)

1. I want to have a "LA" too.

Are you asking - Huh? What's that?
I just found out 2 of my friends are now attached. :) So sweet. =) I think they complement each other. Last time saw them quite close, so my other friends and I thought there might be something or have a chance for something. So one fine day, I asked her about it. Then she said something like no chance kind. So I thought, a pity and gave up the idea that they could ever be together. Haha, happy to hear that they are attached now. :) They have been attached for 2 weeks, but I only found out today. :P Congratulations to both of you! i have a feeling that wedding plans will come within a year or so... hehe!

2. Attending marriages/funerals

I received another wedding invitation recently. So I showed my sister the wedding invitation card cos it was special and nice. Then my mum asked, "Another wedding invitation?". Then she said this kind of thing shldn't go often, else duno wat...
She was saying something like becos I go for so many weddings celebrations, so I am still single. I was quite unhappy about it. Cos I am someone who do not believe in superstitions. My life is not controlled by horoscopes, some old beliefs...!
And I want to be a blessing to people. I want to share their joy on their happy occasion. And I aso want to be at funerals to show moral support, tho I often do not have much words to say. But I just want to show that i care... Hehe, I am a loyal friend. God is bigger than any evil spirits and I am covered by His blood. :) If God is for me, nothing can be against me! Amen!

3. Friends/Gifts

I enjoy giving gifts to people who appreciate them. It gives me great joy and satisfaction when a person likes the gift they receive from me. There is not much pleasure for me when those recipients do not like the gift tho they appreciate the effort. Perhaps, they are not good in expressing themselves? Duno leh, but I just dun get the satisfaction... Recently, shared a present for a good friend. Haha, I finally bought a gift that is the 2nd most ex gift I ever gave. It is not a lot a lot kind, but is quite a lot. If you enjoy my gift, show it yeah?
God, give me the anointing to buy great gifts and bless them greatly! =)

4. Family

I have 5 other family members. I am closest to 2 of them. They are really sweet people. Often I find that I take them for granted, esp my mum. God, help me to share love with my mum. Help me to be less selfish and look to meet her needs. Help me to treasure her. Thanks mum, I am very proud of you! You have great strength in your soul. You are a very loveable person. My friends who have met you all enjoy talking to you. You are very hardworking also. You are a marvellous person. If I have more of your friendliness, sweet mouth, I will probably have found my boyfriend already. haha! :P I shall try to rub the good traits off you. :)

My sister is a very capable lady. Both at work and at relating to people. She is patient and generous. And of cos, she is my dear dear sis whom I like to disturb. Haha, just about 6 months more than you will be moving out. Let me disturb you as much as I can ok? :P Only to miss you a lot when you move out... :'( But, I know you will be a happy married lady so I have to get used to that idea of Mrs Chin. :P

5. Serving

Pastor Mark Conner was here for one of the weekends in March. He shared on the different styles that we experience God the most in. I think my primary style is serving. I always sense the presence of God when I serve in M3 ministry. My secondary style was Relational - I experience God when I am with people. So it sorta triggered me to start organising activities again. I used to organise gatherings for my pri sch mates, my sec sch mates, my jc mates, my uni mates... Haha, I stopped after a while, cos I was always the one organising and I got sick of it. :P Anyway, I have organised 2 outings for my friends so far. They have turned out to be fruitful, souls are blessed. More to come. Beach vb is on the way... Haha, I think it was my plan since a year ago... Buahaha! This year, it will come to pass... probably on 1st May (public holiday).

6. Benny Hinn Meeting

I took leave to go queue earlier for this meeting. I wanted to spend part of my morning doing my own stuff but in the end, I spent half my morning on work. :P But, good lah. Cos I felt relieved that I settled my work and did not have to dwell on work. I met up with John and Jessica. It so happened that John's mother stayed in AMK and they just finished lunch with her. So we took bus 853 to Kallang together. I discovered a new bus route. :) I enjoy staying in AMK. I am thrilled since recently, I found more and more North khakis! =) God is good, He sends companionship to me. Cos I used to have quite a number of good friends who stay near me last time when I stayed in River Valley area. Thanks for being so sweet, God!

We reached SIS at about 340pm. So we joined the queue. We were at the 3rd side of the SIS. John and Jessica brought a plastic sheet so we could sit on the floor. We also bought food and tidbits. :P So the wait wasn't too bad, plus we had company. :) We went in at about 6pm. We managed to keep seats for JenT, her mum and Angela till 730pm. Thank God man! :) It was a mission accomplished for us! Haha, thank God that the usher was understanding too. =)

It was great to be in the presence of God. Rev Benny Hinn shared the Gospel very plainly. These days, I notice that people preach the simple truth and it is just so powerful! As things advance, we tend to try to think more complicatedly. But the truth is best presented simply. :)

So many people responded to the altar call, yeah! Even JenT's mum went for it! So happy!!! =) At that moment, I felt that all the hassle of keeping the seats for them were worthed it. Praise the Lord for all that He does!

During the healing portion, I couldn't help noticing this guy in wheelchair. He had 3 friends with him. His friends helped me to stand up once and again. But once and again, he had to land back in his wheelchair. I believe that he wants so much to receive the healing and he aso do not want to disappoint his friends. Somehow I couldn't help but imagine the mixed feelings he had in his heart. I think it must had been very physically draining for him to lift his heavy body up and support on his feet. But he had the faith and kept trying with his friends. I pray that by Sunday, he will receive the healing for his legs. God is good and his healing is for all.

Rev Benny Hinn shared abt Matt 14, Matt 15 and Matt 21.

They were talking about Jesus feeding the 5000. Many people already know about this story. But do you know that just before that, Jesus healed them??? Matt 14:14

Jesus fed 4000. And Jesus had just healed them before that. Matt 15:30

Jesus was chasing out the people who were trying to do business in the temple. He was angry with the people. But in the midst of all that, he healed all those who came to him who were sick. Matt 21:14

I never noticed those things before... The last one will really the big "whomp" that got into my spirit that God really wants to heal us, He wants to heal all and will heal no matter what!

God, You are amazing!

I'm looking forward to more miracles tmr.

7. Divine appointment

Do you believe in divine appointments? I do. Sometimes things just work the way they do for a reason. Grace was in our cg about 2 years back. Today, she went for the Benny Hinn meeting with a mother and child who was sick. So during the healing moments, she did not know what to do and called for JX. So JX went to pray for them and invited her to join us for supper. So glad she did, cos we gave each other hugs just like before. Somehow, we could still feel the connection. We only caught up a little. Must arrange to meet to catch up more. Grace dear, I believe this was a divine appointment for you tonight. :)

Ain't it good to stop at 7? =) The number of completion.

It is very "late" already... 3:35am... My bed is calling... Haha!
Good "night"!

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Easter weekend

I want to blog... But I do not know what to blog about.

Easter is all about Jesus.
Easter is about LOVE, SACRIFICE and REWARD.

Jesus loved us so much, that he went to the Cross to die for our sins so that we can have eternal life and a relationship with God.

Love is so much more than feelings...

And yet, the love I can now comprehend is mainly of feelings.
Feelings of liking... Is that infatuation or is that love?
When can that ever turn into true love?
I want to do something more for him but yet it seems that i must not.
It seems that it is to be the move of the guy. But when will he move?
Perhaps I am just naive, if I could, I will just want to buy him gifts, eat with him, even look at him from afar.

But how do I even get the chance? I only get to see him once a week, or even less. How do I increase my chances of seeing him?

Some people write blogs that are with more beautiful language. Some write of more abstract things.
I am just good at writing things close to my heart. Haha!

If I go, do I even have the "right" to know him better? I told one my closest friend that it would be unfair to him, my friend told me that it is going to be unfair to myself. But he knows that I might go. Most of my friends said that it is a great opportunity to go. Only 2 actually said something like "can dun go?".

Y go?
1. It is something new
2. It is of a bigger scale
3. It is meaningful
4. The place means something to me
5. I want to be related to CHC in a closer way
6. If I ever do such a thing, now is the only time. Such opportunities don't come knocking all the time.

So when go?
I do not know. It is not confirmed at all. I can only find out more in a few weeks' time.

What can I do now?
Look forward in faith, learn to hear His voice for a clear direction.

But I know all things work together for good for those who love Him. I can't help but feel that yes, my life was planned just for a time like this. I do not fully comprehend how it will happen, but I know that if He is the one who calls, He will enable me and provide grace for me to accomplish the task.

Hold my hands, won't you?

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Happy birthday to you, Vivian!

Today's my special friend's birthday. =)

It is 5+am now...

I did a simple video for my friend.. But it really took me quite a lot of time...
But as I m using a Mac, I am using the Safari browser. And I couldn't attach my video file to my yahoo or hotmail account. :( So I thought perhaps I can upload to YouTube but after quite a number of minutes, the message is still showing "uploading...". Ok ok, finally it is uploaded...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUuVozGa9Bw

Perhaps you can take a look at it...

Going to send her an email and go to my nice bed... :)
Hope she will like it, hehe!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Let Your will to be done in my life

It has been almost a month since I last blogged...

Time flies...

I feel that the pace of life is very fast.
It takes a lot of effort to slow down.

Change is the only constant thing man!

Heard about a good idea... Was keen about it. Thought it would happen earlier... but just got a call that it will take a few weeks. Wonder why I am so gancheong about it... I guess sometimes there are just certain things that you look forward to. :)
Was a bit disappointed that it would be delayed...

Y disappointed?
Cos it would sorta spoil part of my plan...
And I wanted a confirmation.

Answer: Patience...

I pray that God will guide my every single step...
I know He cares and is concerned for every area of my life.
Jesus, all I ask is Your will to be done in my life!